Really, you’re just not that big a deal.

I have been accused once or twice, of being a self-help junkie. I am always looking for where the lesson is in an experience; always trying to make myself better (or even better, accept myself!); always looking at a situation as “almost perfect but could use some improvement.”

This is a double edged sword. Living with me is made easier because I can look and see where I need to be responsible, when I need to look at my patterns of behaviour, when I need to figure out why I reacted so strongly and vehemently…and often to something that had nothing to do with me (ugh…this happened recently). The other side of it is that living with me can be pretty challenging. I am constantly looking for meaning in everything…every word (and I will remember every word), every motion, facial expression, every gesture. And when I do this, every little bit of every day becomes SO SIGNIFICANT (I can hear my Landmark leader, Siggy’s, voice yelling out to us). Everything is such a big deal AND not so awesomely…that I am such a big deal.

My favourite story about just how big a deal we think we are: a friend of mine said to me one day that he’s pretty sure that Vladimir Putin knows exactly what he’s doing, all the time. The sound above his house is Russian drones. He was saying this tongue in cheek, of course, but it speaks to how much time we think about ourselves.

It’s comical when you think about it with your rational brain… but when your caveman brain kicks in it’s really hard to imagine that Russia is not spying on you!

So my work for today is to just relax. To sit back and enjoy when life is going smoothly. To be able to look around and give myself credit for the love and great relationships in my life, for the awesome little humans I am helping raise, for the successes that I have experienced and the times that I have been able to touch another with inspiration. And to realize that I am just not that big a deal.

Phew. Pressure’s off.

Comments 2

  1. Well you can be a big deal to others, Cathy. Not gonna let you off the hook that easy! 😉

    What I mean is that you are accepted, loved, admired and celebrated within *your* community. I celebrate you (and kinda think you’re a big deal). 😎

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