Sometimes love needs to be a verb

Love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her.Stephen Covey The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change.

We tell each other that we love one another everyday. And somedays it’s enough and it’s perfect and it’s exactly and all we need to hear. But other times, we say it over and over and over again and still manage to not show up for our partners, our friends, our children, or ourselves. And in these times it is simply not enough, and it’s imperfect and it’s exactly what we cannot listen to anymore. So in these times LOVE needs to be a verb.

I have seen love as a verb so many times. It was in the moment when you’re having a shitty day and your buddy drives an hour and a half to seemingly deliver you a coffee (Neil Schuler). It is in the moment where you get home from work to be greeted by a hot bath run by your lover, full of rose petals and surrounded by candles. It is in the moment where you’re on the phone with your child and they won’t hang up before you do.

For me, it was in so many moments of this weekend. It was opening our home to our friends and receiving thank you notes for making them feel loved and nurtured and taken care of. It was in great conversation with new friends and old friends. It was when my kids and I created a ridiculously elaborate birthday cake with an obscene amount of candy on it for Hugo’s birthday. It was when my hubby showed up for me by coming home from rugby to hang out at Hugo’s birthday party instead of celebrating the win with his buddies. It was when he went to bed early to create space for me and my girls to laugh and cry and share our secrets until 2:30 a.m. And his love was especially “verby” when he got out of bed early this morning to make pancakes for 6 boys while I was gifted the time to sleep.

So sometimes it’s important to check in and see if you are saying “I love you” more than you are acting “I love you.” Stephen Covey said it so beautifully: So love her. Or… So love him.

I hope this inspires you to love someone today.

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